Mama Madhya - Time For Pause

Change is the only constant in the universe. Sometimes it creeps in, slow and steady, over decades. Other times it crashes into our lives - in a split second, a heartbeat. This reality means that we are always in flow - until we are not. Until change sweeps away everything we thought was solid.  Stagnation is something we look at often in Chinese Medicine, the stagnation - lack of flow - of qi or energy can lead to illness and through accumulation, even death. Life must move. But constant movement without something to hold us steady can leave us feeling like a ship without a mooring. We all need anchors - a point of stability that allows us to grow without drifting into chaos.  My life is has been a delicate dance between movement and stillness, between seeking change and longing for something safe to hold onto. Looking back, I can see how these forces shaped me - not just in the obvious ways, but like those before me, in the small, quiet shifts that have trickled down to the ...

Today we live in a world that it layered with subterfuge. The simplicity and rawness of years gone by have been replaced with this growing world of alternate reality. Every little aspect of life is documented and devoured, celebrated but also offered up as fodder to the masses.  The Pressure to Conform From the minute of conception there is often an intense overlay of observation, and as time goes by, a pressure of how the unborn may live, breathe and be - according to what is trending, what is popular, and what is perceived to be "the right way". Under the guise of freedom and choice, we have become more trapped than we have ever been before. Whether it is through religion, woke ideology, freedom-seeking alternatives, traditional or cultural values-based thinking, we walk into this world with less ability to just be our raw and authentic selves. At every turn, we are offered narratives, roles, and labels that quickly begin to layer over the core of who we are - often before ...

It is said that the universe is made of infinite love. An all encompassing, mind blowing, unconditional love, from which we come and to which we return. A love that vibrates through every cell of our being, and through every atom of the universe. Permeating richly, deeply, knowingly weaving its way through our lives, supporting, guiding, and observing.  Infinite Love: The Source of All This kind of love is the thing of poets, songs, paintings, of religion and nature. Something that we can only briefly touch at different times in our lives. Such as when we see our unborn child for the first time, a beautiful landscape, or natural wonder, experience religious awakening, or fall deeply in love.  It's a love that makes everything feel connected, meant to be, and without harsh edges. Just by its very nature it is creative, expansive and beautiful.  It takes away all pain, sorrow, and despair.  It's the kind of love we are born with and spend the rest of our lives trying t...

There's a trembling that begins beneath the deep surface. You don't always notice it at first - like the faint shiver of an earthquake just beginning. It starts as something imperceptible, but then it rises. It rises until it shakes the very ground of your being, moving everything in its path. You want to run. You want to escape - searching frantically for exits to flee the overwhelming feeling. But there are no exits. Not this time. This time you must stand still. You must face the tremor, the trigger, the truth. When Anxiety Has No Name Growing up, we didn't have a name for this feeling. Anxiety wasn't something we diagnosed or discussed - it was simply part of life. An unspoken presence that drifted in and out like a shadow, without recognition or fanfare. Yet, looking back, there was no shortage of things to be anxious about.  We lived in households ruled not by reason, but by consequence. Where too many tears could get you told "If you don't stop crying I...

Trigger Warning: Some content may be distressing. Please take care. The female brain is a remarkable thing - growing, then pruning, refining, and growing again, going through the same process, over and over, at specific times in our lives. As we learn and move through the various stages of life it moves with us, guiding our actions, reactions and fulfilling its role as the Director. The 7-Year Cycles of Change The crucial times in our lives, when we undergo the most pruning and re-building are set in cycles. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine this is every 7 years,  more specifically - during the hormonal shifts and changes of early childhood, pre-adolescence, adolescence, through fertility, pregnancy, and then on through peri-menopause, menopause and into post-menopause. Having a brain that is working harmoniously throughout these cycles is just as important to a smooth hormonal journey as your environment, genetics and lifestyle factors are. When Harmony is Disrupted So, w...

I sigh, long and slow. Recounting my ancestors' stories - women who, in my mind, have an almost mythical quality to them, is poetic and beautiful. They make me feel positive about my story. The kind of beauty that comes from imaginary tales, like those of long-lost loves, bravery, and a fight for the kingdom. You know they have harshness, but somehow, they are still filled with adventure and heroes.  But my life is not just a manifestation of beautiful heroines; it is full of real women who survive with grit and determination, through darkness and madness.  I desperately want to move through my time of Madhya with grace and wisdom and lay the demons to rest, letting go the muck, the detritus that my subconscious carries.  A Fragile Inheritance So now we must move closer to home, to the women who I directly descend from, who have had the biggest part to play in my experience of life. I sigh again... it is not going to be easy; it is fraught... and complicated. But I must e...